postheadericon Facebook, And Why I Don't Use It

Because it's a... and it has a..

I was recently informed that no fewer than two people have attempted to contact me through Facebook. Thankfully ignoring people is something I'm known for (it's probably there on my profile under "Activities") so no one's feelings were hurt. 

I don't use Facebook anymore. Not for any specific reason - i dun want ma gurl seein' me wit udder gurls - but because it just doesn't appeal to me. I will briefly discuss why.

The main issue is interest. For Facebook (or any other social networking site) to be useful, one either needs to have an interesting life or have an interest in other people's lives - preferably both. I have neither. 

Another thing that doesn't work for me are the status updates. I really preferred the old status update format which had the fixed format of "[Name] is ____". The use of "is" demanded a direct assessment of your current state, either with an adjective - "Joe is hungry" - or a present active participle - "Joe is desiring food". Those who eschewed this format - "Joe is GO STEELERS!!!" - were seen as lazy, crass, and bad at grammar. 

The current format is less strict and, as a result, less descriptive. Without the "is", are no longer restricted to commenting presently. People can post thoughts, quotes, lyrics, websites, jokes - basically anything and everything other than their status. You'd think this liberty would be a good thing, but it really isn't. The status update has been replaced by the "what you're thinking now" update. And the only thing worse than knowing what people are doing is knowing what people are thinking.

People mentioned Farmville, Lady Gaga, and their yards more than themselves. See #2.

But the thing that drove me over the edge were those damned club invites that would overpopulate my inbox like Chinese people at U of T. I swear I'd get like a dozen of them every day and they'd have the exact same format.

[Annoying ASCII art] EVENT TITLE [Mirror image of annoying ASCII art]

Hey you. We may or may not converse regularly but I would like you and the rest of my friends list to attend this stupid event at that greasy club. The fact that I profit off of your attendance brings into question the legitimacy of my request, and whether or not I have a soul. Thank you.


pari said...

i'm so sorry that you are SO popular that you have to beat off those horrible people that invite you out to things with the large heavy fb ignoring sticks...le sigh...the tortured life of om

incidentally i don't have fb...i'll blame that for my unpopularity